The Purge Review

The Purge is a new home invasion horror movie starring Ethan Hawke. The film takes place in the year 2022 and the U.S has one day called the purge day a year. When this day comes murdering, raping, stealing, etc is legal for 12 hours and all emergency services become unavailable. The idea itself is really cool, but it is completely wasted with how this whole film was executed.

First off the film is a home invasion movie. Some guys get into the house and you know what happens next. I was expecting the movie to be entertaining, but it is completely boring. Nothing really goes on for most of the movie, and when shit (finally) hits the fan... it ends in like 5 minutes. Another negative is that the film is not scary at all. Like not even the jump scares work. There is no tension whatsoever in this film. All the characters are completely stupid, with the exception of Ethan Hawke. His character is actually smart, and Hawke gives a good performance as always.

The film also tries to act as a social allegory. It tries to be a smart film by making us think: if a day like the purge ever existed, would we really kill? The problem is it never really explores this well enough, and certain characters seem bipolar at times. There's a certain character who says that purging is wrong, and in the next scene (literally the next scene) she is completely cool with it to ths point of agreeing to kill, but near the end she is against it again. I really don't know what was going on through the writers mind as he wrote this movie.

The Purge could have been something really special. It takes a really cool idea, one talented actor, and wastes them completely. It was boring, stupid, and not even remotely scary. I hope that the sequel will actually take this great idea, and actually make an interesting film. The whole concept of people being able to kill legally for 12 hours is something very interesting, and could make for a very smart film that could really explore the pros and cons of it, and the psychological aspect of it too. I'm giving The Purge 1/5

Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D Season 1 Episode 1 "Pilot" Review

Well, it is finally here. Agents Of S.H.IE.L.D is a new show that´s a part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. It takes place after The Avengers (my favorite movie of all time) and basically follows a group of S.H.I.E.L.D agents led by agent Coulson who was presumed dead. I am a huge geek and I had been waiting for this show ALOT. It was great.

The pilot is basically about the group of agents tracking this new "superhero". I won´t spoil anything, so that´s as much as I will tell you about the plot. The pilot was great, introducing you to new characters and also bringing back some old ones. Most notably Coulson, who has returned from the dead. I actually liked how they explained this, and made me love the character even more. Action wise don´t expect something big and epic like in The Avengers. This is a T.V show so there are limitations, but the action was actually very enjoyable and well shot. The visual effects are great for a T.V show too, but the best thing about the pilot is the writing. It was written (and directed) by Joss Whedon himself, and he is great as always. The characters have great interaction with one other, it is funny, and filled with references to the movies and comics which I loved.

I can´t wait to watch more episodes from this show, and I am really excited to see how well it will connect with the movies. The pilot was a really good start for this show, and really gives you an idea as to how this show will play out. I am giving the first episode of Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D 4/5

A Haunted House Review

A Haunted House is a spoof film made by the guys that created Scary Movie, and I can say that this is better than Scary Movie 5. The film primarily spoofs Paranormal Activity, and has various references to other movies, but it stays focused on just one movie and it makes the film more enjoyable because of this. Comedy wise I did laugh a couple of times here, but there were never any huge laugh out loud moment that stood out.

The film has a lot of jokes that just don´t work, and it felt uncomfortable when this happened because no one in the theatre would laugh. One of the big problems with the movie is that they tend to make "funny" scenes longer than they should. If they were shorter they would have worked, but they keep dragging them out and the scene becomes plain unfunny. The acting here is nothing special, and it´s a shame since there are some talented actors here.

I do have to say that I liked this more than I thought I would, but it still isn´t a good movie. There are funny moments, but then there are forced jokes and dragged out scenes that don´t work. I hope the sequel is better (yes, they are currently filming it). I´m giving A Haunted House 1.5/5

Kick-Ass 2 Review

I will start off by saying that I loved the first Kick-Ass. It was funny, ultra-violent, and portrayed the dangers of being a superhero very well. You get more of that here, but this one focuses more on superhero teams, and supervillain teams. It also focuses on Hit-Girl´s identity crisis as she goes into high school.

I will say that I really enjoyed this movie, but I still think the first one is better., and here is why. During the action scenes in this one, I noticed that there was some shaky cam used from time to time. The weird thing is that most of the action scenes are well shot, but suddenly the shaky cam starts, and then it goes back to normal. Another issue I had was Jim Carrey. He was great in the movie, but was not given as much screen time as I wanted. The comedy is still great in this one, and I really enjoyed the Hit-Girl storyline. All of the actors do a great job too, and are even better here than in the last one.

So while not as awesome as the first one, I still really enjoyed Kick-Ass 2. It is filled with violence, comedy, and the villains in this movie are just really awesome. This movie is a blast from start to finish, and I would definitely recommend that everyone checks it out... except kids (and my showing was filled with little kids). I´m giving Kick-Ass 2 4/5

We´re The Millers Review

We´re The Millers is a new comedy featuring Jason Sudeikis, and Jennifer Aniston. Sudeikis plays a drug dealer, who after losing his boss´s money (played by Ed Helms) is tasked with smuggling weed from Mexico over to the U.S.A. To do this Sudeikis hires Aniston, Emma Roberts, and Will Poulter to pretend they are a family and cross the border unnoticed.

First thing´s first: This movie is pretty funny. You laugh throughout the whole movie, and there are a couple of big laughs to be had here. I was surprised because after seeing the trailer I thought that it didn´t look all that funny. All of the actors did a great job, but my problem with the movie is that it was all too predictable. Even some jokes were kind of brought down a bit for me because I knew exactly what was going to happen next. There´s the annoying but good hearted family that always appear in this type of road trip movies, there´s the bad guys chasing them as usually happens when there are drugs involved, etc. It all feels familiar, but at least you can have a good laugh with it.

So while predictable, the movie still manages to be funny throughout, but this isn´t something that you have got to see in the theatre. It´s a good time, but it still has it´s problem here and there. I wasn´t sure what to rate We´re The Millers, but I´m going with a 3/5.

You´re Next Review

Going into You´re Next I was expecting a regular home invasion horror film. As the movie started I noticed that this wasn´t going that route. The film was actually filled with black comedy blended with horror, and it worked pretty well. So if you go into this movie expecting a scary horror movie you will be dissapointed. This movie isnt supposed to be serious, and the tone of the film completely reflects this.

The bad thing about this movie is the first half. The acting was terrible, and it felt completely cliché. It was just a bunch of people getting killed and that was about it. Suddenly, the second half starts and the plot actually becomes alot better, and we are left with the most kick ass female protagonist ever. We get to see her set up very smart and cool traps throughout the house, and I really started to enjoy the hell out of this movie. The girl could easily beat any guy up, and I liked that they explained how she learned all of this. There are a couple of very awesome kills too, and the ending was (for my twisted mind) awesome.

You´re Next may have horrible acting, and may feel very cliche at first, but once the second half kicks in you will really enjoy this movie. Lots of dark humor, some awesome kills, very smart script, and an awesome female protagonist that really holds her own make this a very entertaining movie (after the first 45 minutes).

I´m giving You´re Next 3/5  

White House Down Review

If you watched Olympus Has Fallen, you have seen White House Down. White House Down stars Channing Tatum and Jamie Foxx. Channing Tatum is trying to get into the secret service when a terrorist attack hits the white house. Now he is the only one who can save the president played by Jamie Foxx.

I´ll start by saying that I enjoyed this one more than Olympus Has Fallen. The plot is the same, but this one feels more energetic. It has more action scenes, and the president actually gets to kick some ass in this one. Channing Tatum and Jamie Foxx have great chemistry, and have some funny back and forth throughout the movie. The film also doesn´t take itself too seriously like Olympus Has Fallen, and that is a really big plus for this one. There are problems though, the first one being the CGI. It is pretty terrible. Even the green screen looks fake, and once you watch it you will know what I mean. Another problem I had is that the film takes a while to get going, maybe a good 20-30 minutes, but when it gets going it is pretty cool.

I had fun with this one. It has great action, some good laughs, but the CGI just took me out of the movie a lot of times. It isn´t as violent as Olympus Has Fallen, but I really don´t mind. I enjoyed the action here more and therefore I am giving White House Down 3.5/5

The Internship Review

The Internship is basically a big Google Commercial. It really is. The film stars Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn, and the plot basically follows them after losing their jobs and becoming interns at Google. During this internship there are various groups completing various challenges, and the team with the most points will get to work full time at Google. I bet you know how this film is going to play out just by reading that.

The film really doesn´t do anything wrong, and it plays it safe. That´s the problem. You know where every single plot point is going to go at the start of the film, it is extremely predictable. Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn play the same type of character they always play, and there are some laughs to be had but you won´t really remember any of them once the movie is over. The movie is extremely average, and once you walk out of the theatre you probably won´t remember it. You´ll enjoy it while you´re watching it, but then you´ll just forget it. Oh and it´s 2 hours long, which is too much for a movie like this, and they could have easily taken out a lot of scenes that really don´t matter too much.

The Internship is just an extremely average and predictable film, that doesn´t do anything wrong, but plays it way too safe. It´s funny from time to time, but nothing here will WOW you, or make a lasting impression on you. I´m giving The Internship 2.5/5

Texas Chainsaw 3D Review

Oh man this one really sucked. Texas Chainsaw 3D is a sequel to the original 1974 film. After the events of that film, the whole family of cannibals are killed, but a baby survives. Years later she finds out her grandmother dies, and she inherits her house. Living in the basement is none other than Leatherface.

This movie fucking sucked. First off, it isn´t scary at all. The movie has no atmosphere or tension, and relies on jump scares (which don´t work either). The characters are retarded, every single one. I had never seen a film with such idiotic characters. None of them are likeable either, so you don´t care when they get killed. Another problem is that there aren´t many kills either, and they aren´t anything special. In a film like this, what I look forward to are the kills, but here there aren´t many and they were all lame. The movie is also filled with many scenes which made me crack up laughing. There is nothing good about this movie, NOTHING. Even the kills look fake, really fake. But the worst part is the following: They try to make Leatherface an anti-hero. They try to make you root for him. Imagine watching Friday The 13th and having Jason look like the good guy. Just NO.

Don´t waste your time, or money with this one. It´s not fun to watch, it´s not scary, it has horrible dialogue, horrible special effects, stupid characters, and they made Leather an anti-hero. This one is probably the worst movie I have seen all year, even worse than Scary Movie 5 (and that sucked balls). I´m giving Texas Chainsaw 3D 0/5

The Mortal Instruments: City Of Bones Review

Hollywood seems to be trying to find the next Twilight, so now we get The Mortal Instruments: City Of Bones. The plot follows this girl played by Lily Collins as she finds out that she is a shadow hunter, and must find a magic cup. You also have Jamie Campbell Bower playing the male lead, and Jonathan Rhys Meyers playing the bad guy. To be honest at first I was actually really enjoying the movie. There were some cool action scenes, and I was actually kind of liking the plot. There are vampires, werewolves, angels, demons, and a lot of other stuff here... but that is one of my problems with the movie. It lacks originality. For example, there is a place called "the institute" in this movie and it looks just like Hogwarts from Harry Potter.

I tried to ignore all of that, but then midway through the movie something happens. They decide to throw in a love triangle, just like Twilight, and the movie starts focusing on that. The story starts tu suffer here because the important plot points are rushed over thanks to increased focus on the romance. Demons, and werewolves are running around, and there is not really almost any explanation as to why all of this is happening. I also noticed some really big plot points that are left completely untouched. It´s as if the writers just forgot about them. The villain isn´t that great either, since I never really understood the point of him doing all he was doing. He is like Voldemort, but there is 0 build up to his character. They barely talk about him in the movie before he shows up.

I didn´t hate the movie, but there was alot of potential here that was wasted. What started out as an actually decent movie, started to become messy and generic in the second half. Hopefully if they make a sequel they will learn from their mistaked here and actually make a good movie next time around. I´m going to give The Mortal Instruments: City Of Bones 2/5.

Grown Ups 2 Review

I hated this one... Grown Ups 2 stars Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, Kevin James, and David Spade. The plot of the film is... well there´s none. The film is actually a set of isolated scenes. In each scene there is a joke, and as soon as the joke ends it cuts to the next scene right away. I wouldn´t have a problem with that structure if the movie was actually funny. It isn´t. I think I laughed once throughout the entire movie, and I could have laughed more but alot of the jokes are ruined because they add an extra line of dialogue at the end of them that just kills them.

The humor here consists primarily on boobs, poo, and piss. There is nothing smart here, and some of the acting was actually terrible at times. It feels over the top the whole time, and it really doesn´t work. I can´t believe it, but it was actually worse than the first one. I´m going to give Grown Ups 2 a 1/5

One Direction This Is Us Review

I´ll admit it: I like One Direction. The songs are catchy, and the guys are actually really entertaining unlike others. Now they have their first movie, and it should come to no surprise that I actually really liked this movie. This is Us is a concert film/documentary. It shows you how they became such big stars, gives you a look into their lives, and also shows some awesome concert scenes.

So first off, the movie is made for the fans, and you can tell. They never really go too deep into their lives, or really show much of the negative side of being so big around the world. it would have been nice to get to know the guys a bit more. That being said we do get to see how they interact with one another, and how they goof around. I have to say that these guys are actually pretty funny, and actually act how a young person would. They don´t follow rules at all, and it´s fun to see them run around and be a pain in the ass to everyone.

Then we have the concert scenes, which are pretty amazing. Visually the film is amazing. I never expected the film to look so good, and the 3D actually makes it better. The song are as catchy as ever, but I was left wanting more of the concert scenes. All in all the film is very enjoyable if you´re a fan. If you are not then I don´t know if you will change your mind about this band, but you might be surprised. I´m giving it a 4/5.

Jurassic Park 3D Review

Jurassic Park was one of the first movies that I ever saw. It was the movie that made me love cinema, and 20 years after it´s original release I finally got to see it on the big screen. I really don´t think this movie needs any introduction, it´s freaking Jurassic Park. We all know the story by now: During a preview tour, a theme park suffers a major power breakdown that allows its cloned dinosaur exhibits to run amok.

When this movie came out it amazed everyone with it´s amazing visual effects, iconic music, and intense scenes. Now we get to see all of that in 3D. So first off I will get into the actual 3D, which really isn´t anything special. It´s not bad, but it isn´t really that good either. It would have been nice to be able to see the film without the 3D. Well now onto the movie itself. This movie is AMAZING. The visual effects still look stunning even after 20 years. They look even better than the effects in some other movies today. The dinosaurs look real, and move fluently. The score by John Williams is one of my favorites, and I even got goosebumps when the iconic song started. The action sequences are still intense and awesome, the velociraptor kitchen scene being my favorite one. 

There really isn´t anything wrong with this movie at all. It completely transports you to another world, and that is one of the reasons I go to the movies. After 20 years this movie is still a masterpiece, and I will definitely give it a 5/5

2 Guns Review

Going into 2 Guns I thought to myself "This is probably going to be another cookie cutter action movie". Well I´m happy to say that this movie really surprised me. 2 Guns stars Denzel Washington and Mark Whalberg. The plot is as follows "A DEA agent and a naval intelligence officer find themselves on the run after a botched attempt to infiltrate a drug cartel. While fleeing, they learn the secret of their shaky alliance: Neither knew that the other was an undercover agent." 

Now my big problem with the film is the plot itself. The movie starts throwing twist after twist after twist and anyone could easily get lost on what is going on. Whoever wrote the script must love twists because there´s alot of those here. What makes the film enjoyable is actually the back and forth between Denzel and Whalberg. They have great chemistry together and are actually really funny throughout the film. I would have been entertained by just watching those 2 guys talking throughout the whole movie. The action scenes are also well shot and entertaining. There is none of that shaky cam bullshit that people seem to love now. Everything that´s happening is clear, and well edited. 

I do think that the film could have used some more action, but the dialogue really makes up for that. In the end I was really surprised by 2 Guns. It had some cool action and great dialogue, but the script would have been better without so many plot twists. I´m going to give 2 Guns a 3.5/5

The Conjuring Review

The Conjuring is based on the case files of the Warrens. Ed and Lorraine Warren were probably the most famous paranormal investigators ever. They´ve been involved in cases like The Amityville Horror, and The Haunting in Connetcicut. But none of those cases shook them up as much as this one did. 

The Conjuring tells the story of the Perron family as they move into a house that ends up being pretty haunted. It may all sound familiar: a haunted house, paranormal investigators, based on a true story, etc. What makes this movie special is the execution. The problem that I always have with horror films is that they always feel over the top, and loud; but the thing that I hate the most about horror films is when they rely on cheap jump scares. Not here. The movie builds up tension with slow camera movements, and excellent sound design. It makes you feel uneasy the whole way through. 

In the acting department you have Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga playing the Warrens, while Lili Taylor and Ron Livingston play Caroline and Roger Perron. Everyone here does a perfect job. You can actually see real fear in their faces, and they never go over the top with the screaming or the crying like in most movies. They look genuinely scared. 

Another plus about this movie is that alot more is suggested rather than shown. They don´t really on showing scary faces all the time, instead they actually scare you by implying that something is there. This movie also features no gore or nudity, so I was surprised to find it was R rated just because it was scary. 

All of the problems thai I have with horror movies are not present here. Great director: Check. Great writing: Check. Great acting: Check. Great sound design: Check. Great cinematography: Check. And most importantly: Great Scares: CHECK. This was an awesome movie and I´m giving it... 5/5